I Meet Dave and John
by colbyjackchz
Summary: It was just a normal day for me, going to grab a bite at Metro Grill. Little did I know, two characters that I thought to be fictional, would be having a bro chat at the table next to me!


**Hey guys! Just a one shot that is dedicated to the REAL EXPERIENCE of my friend Panda (username: Bamboo Blade). Enjoy, and review with your comments! :)**

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><p><strong><span>I Meet Dave and John<span>**

"Maya, are you going to get something to eat?" My mother called up the stairs.

As usual, I was upstairs in my room scanning the interwebs with curiosity. This was normal behavior for me on summer days, because I really wasn't that much of an outdoors person.

"Yeah…in a minute mom," I called back down the stairs.

I guess it was average behavior of a girl my age…since the outdoors really wasn't my calling card. I was more the laid back, technology fan of the group and kept to myself most of the time. Normally, my summer days consisted of scanning the internet most of the day (in between meals, chores, and of course kitty time) and keeping up with the latest on some of my favorite sites. When I was done with all that (usually two o clock in the morning or later) I would sleep late and begin my ritual again the next day. Occasionally, I would draw on my sketch pad and text my crazy friends. Talk about a day full!

My internet time was usually divided between various sites (including Youtube, Facebook, and reading updates of Naruto) but my all time favorite was Mspaintadventures. Mspaintadventures was a site that I spent a majority of my time on, reading updates of the comic, Homestuck. I wasn't the biggest fan of the character Rose, but adored Jade, John, and Dave (who single handedly had to be the winner of the Trophy of Badassitude).

I pulled up another browser and typed in the url at top speed. Clicking on the updates page, I was disappointed to see that no new updates had been posted for today.

"Maya!" Mom yelled from the bottom of the stairs.

"Yeah, sorry, I'm going Mom…" I answered, grabbing my Pack-Man jacket and phone.

She wasn't the biggest fan of my normal internet rituals…and often was in a bad mood if I was on there too long. Likewise, I kept up my ritual and kept on wishing for Dad to come back… But he wouldn't be back for at least another three weeks because of a business trip to California. Sometimes Mom could just be looking for a reason to pick, or at least that was what I presumed.

Rolling my eyes, I clobbered down the stairs, glancing at the baby pictures of Ian (my night owl of a brother) and I. Passing my favorite picture of Ian, located on precisely the seventh step from the bottom, (yes, I counted the steps when I didn't have anything better to do…) I smiled. It was taken when he was about three and his shaggy brown hair was in all different directions. He was looking at the camera with a puzzled look on his face, while at the same time trying to look angry. Ian never did like pictures, nor did I that much either so I understood the poor kid's pain.

Smirking, I continued down the stairs and met my mother's disappointed gaze. Oh boy, here comes a lecture… Her Mom just had that look in her eye…

"I told you to come down ten minutes ago. Honesty Maya, can you just listen?" Mom snapped.

I sighed, "I'm sorry Mom, I was just checking Homestuck updates really quick."

Mom looked irritated but handed me some money, "Be back soon."

I nodded and continued through the living room, not pausing to look at the TV which certainly had some soap opera that Mom was watching plastered to the screen. My mother and her television show choices, honestly. I preferred action or scary movies, like Dad and Ian. Speaking of Ian, I noticed a lump of blankets laying on the couch, arm half hanging out of the bundle.

Glancing at my phone, I noticed the time read seven after one… Knowing Ian's nocturnal schedule, he had probably went to sleep around five or so. Some people called me night owl… I shrugged, maybe it was a twenty seven year old thing. After all, Ian was twelve years older than me.

But I did have a few things to owe to my brother, like my love of some things. After all, he did introduce me to some of the games, animes, and interests that I have now. In ways, he was more my family than my parents were. Even competing with my Dad.

Pushing the door open, I was blasted by sunlight and winced a bit. I wasn't used to this cruel sun exposure! Having really fair skin didn't make my outdoors experience a pleasurable one either. Sometimes even sunscreen couldn't save my pale skin from being toasted most of the time.

Sighing, I pushed my long, brown hair out of my face and adjusted my glasses that always seemed to slip down from the top of my nose. Scanning the street both ways for cars, I utilized the clearness of the street and continued to the other side. My baggy cargo pants and Bowling for Soup t-shirt flapped around in the wind which constantly seemed to be blowing.

Glancing towards the end of the street, I spotted my destination to grab something to eat, Metro Grill. Being on the end of the block in a small town, I often wondered how it could even stay in business. It was one of the fairly new places to eat in town…that is if you would call three years new. Being a simple grill, serving hamburgers, hotdogs, and famous fries, seemed to be working out for them.

Battling the wind, I crossed Main Street and over into Metro Grill's parking lot. Not very many cars were there, which was a good sign. That way I could hopefully get in and out, then rush home to see if updates to Homestuck were posted. Some real shenanigans were occurring in these last few pages and I was defiantly eager to get back to my computer to read the latest. Boy, what I would give to meet some of the characters in real life. Sadly, that defied the laws of the physical world and wasn't going to happen.

I opened to door to Metro Grill and went to grab a table in the middle. A perky waitress came over and handed me a menu, then ran off to go grab I'm sure someone else's order.

Glancing around, I noticed the usual sports bar décor which ranged from jerseys of football teams to autographed baseballs. I was never much of a sports fan myself…but I could tolerate the occasional game, though hockey was more enjoyable to watch.

"Dude, John, seriously…she's not worth it," someone said from the table beside me.

Being jerked out of my aimless thoughts, I glanced over at the table and almost dropped my menu as to what I saw. Two guys were sitting at the table beside me in a serious chat.

The one that was speaking had blonde hair and was wearing sunglasses, with a frown on his face. The one that he was speaking to had messy black hair and was wearing strangely thick black glasses. I was shocked to see that he also had a bit of an overbite(doesn't hurt to be observant). The black haired one (called John...) looked a bit pained.

Holding back a gasp, my mind was going in seven different directions. The black haired guy strangely resembled John from my favorite internet cartoon, Homestuck. The blonde with the sunglasses strangely resembled Dave...from that same cartoon. Could it be...? But...how?

"I know, and truthfully I never expected her to be this clingy. But now this?"

The blonde nodded and plastered a look of annoyance on his face. My eyes widened, God, he looked so much like Dave when he did that! Now I was really getting excited, and I had to practically restrain myself from doing some weird dance of happiness. John rubbed his temples and closed his eyes, deep in thought.

I was now peering sneakily over the top of my menu at the two. I didn't want to give the impression that I _was _listening to every word they were saying...but then again, I wanted to hear every bit of this conversation. After all, it was practically the biggest break through of something exciting in my life for a while. I mean, yeah, the weekly updates of Naruto did get me pretty excited...but this, this was different on a whole new level! I could be the first to see these awesome characters in person, not kicking some imp ass or arguing about simple minded things that happened in the world of Sburb! That...that, was just amazing!

This would be truly sac religious to the fans of Homestuck if I didn't stay and absorb every last word that these true heroes were speaking. It would be a tragedy to the world if I didn't remember and write about this information in a rather expressive comment to a fan site...Or perhaps post a one shot about my experiences to the website (another place of my usual internet browsing and or story writing).

Shrugging my busy thoughts away, I noticed that the waitress had brought them their food (meaning that their 'bro chat' ,as one of my guy friends informed me of the proper terminology, was temporarily stopped). That gave me the perfect amount of time to order really fast!

Just as if the waitress had read my mind, she came over and quickly took my order which consisted of a simple sandwich with fries. Sipping on my water, I tuned back into what the guys were saying with great interest.

"Well...I'm telling you man, she's really not worth it. Just because she's hot, doesn't mean the chick will have any brains," the blonde said, taking a bite of his burger.

John nodded between bites of his own burger, "Yeah...I know..."

The blonde sighed, "What she does to you...She's just crazy. No one deserves to be treated like that, man."

I wondered what they were talking about. It was obviously something to do with John's girlfriend...but what about her? Maybe she was being mean to him or something?

"Yeah, I think I'm going to end it... I don't want to end up like your buddy with that psycho of a girlfriend. I'm not that desperate by any means," John said, nibbling on some fries.

He got a scrunched up look in his face and looked up at the blonde.

"Need salt?" The blonde asked, seeming to notice.  
>John nodded, "Yeah, is there some on your side? I don't see any over here..."<p>

The blonde nudged over some of the usual table decor in the middle and shook his head. I held my breath as the blonde met my eyes.

"Hey, can we borrow your salt? John gets pissy if he doesn't have his salt."

My eyes got wide and was trying not to go into shock. I wasn't the type to go screaming and hollering when something shocked or scared me. Normally I would go into one of the more passive options, and just become very quiet.

I nodded, not trusting my voice to say yes without some weird type of croaking sound, and grabbed my salt. I willed my hand not to shake as I got up and handed the salt to the blonde's outstretched hand.

Glancing at John before going back to sit down, I noticed that he seemed to be sitting there stiffly. Maybe he was embarrassed from the blonde having to ask for salt... he blonde smirked and handed the salt over to John, who grabbed it out of his hand. Trying not to seem like more of an idiot, I robotically walked back over to my chair and plopped down.

Nibbling on my sandwich, I tried not to explode with happiness as to what had just happened. The blonde (which I believed with all my heart and soul was Dave Strider) had spoken to me and asked to borrow my salt for John (who had to be John Egbert). I was so glad my Mom had told me to go get lunch!

Pushing away all those pesky thoughts for the second time, I tuned back into their conversation.

"- Speaking of that psycho... Well, he told me about all that stuff she said, and the extremities she went to...God, that girl is crazy...and I just flat out told him, he needs a restraining order, seriously. I mean, I can tolerate some of that, but things like that? No," the blonde commented.

John nodded vigorously, "I know...same here. Sometimes enough is enough though, and it's better to end it before she goes to far. At least we don't have to worry about girls like _that_."

The blond haired guy snorted, "If she was trying that hard and going to those levels to resolve their problems, imagine how a break up is going to go."

John smirked, "And that's when restraining orders are very helpful."

The guy across from John sat back in his chair and rubbed his temples like John was doing before.

"Your headache bothering you to?" John asked.

He nodded and groaned, "God John, don't ever talk me into going to one of your college parties again. Here is my new pledge from this day forward. I will never get wasted with John on a Friday night, or any night for that matter, ever again. This bloody headache is killing me."

John seemed to agree and took a swig of his drink, "That is good advice, but at least you didn't have enough for a hangover."

He nodded and finished off his plate of food, "That movie was bad enough..."

John rolled his eyes, "I wasn't talking about the movie. Though I will agree with you, terrible movie. Though I do prefer the corny classics myself."

I choked on my water when he said that, which lead me into a series of coughs. The two then proceeded to look over my way as I tried to clear the liquid from my air pipe. Making an o symbol with my thumb and index finger, I stopped coughing and proceeded to study the ground.

"You alright?" I heard John ask.

Nodding furiously, I turned away and was grateful that they didn't say anything. Returning to their conversation about movies, I cursed myself for being so...ugh. But then again, I now had more proof that this guy really was John Egbert! He liked the corny classics just like John in Homestuck.

I felt like Indiana Jones discovering the city of gold! I had stumbled upon two living legends and half the world probably didn't even know it! I couldn't wait to spread my findings to the world of technology.

"Well, anyway. It's getting late and I need to get back to the dorm to get some Soc homework done," John said, finishing his overly salted fries.

"God, John, you're always so worried about that damn homework. Why don't you live a little?"

John looked defensive, "I'm not that obsessive. I just need to study for this exam that is coming up, then I can start 'living a little'."

"I don't remember the last time I studied for an exam. Let alone did any of the class work," the blonde said, with a smirk on his face.

"I'm going to be a business man, and my GPA needs to be at least halfway decent. Yes, that is why your GPA is non existent my friend," John stood up in his chair.

"Well, good luck with your girlfriend man. See you later," the blonde said, going up to pay while John clapped him on the back and headed out the double doors.

Soon after, the other guy followed and I was left in shock. John wanted to be a business man...like in Homestuck (John's slime business suit). Then Dave, who didn't study for anything and was a rebel, was as usual avoiding anything of educational value.

Nibbling the last bite of my sandwich, my stomach did a flip flop of excitement as I thought about it again.

Could I have just met fictional characters?

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><p>"What's up with you? You look like you've seen a ghost, Banana," Ian said, greeting me as I came inside.<p>

I gave him a glance, and didn't even crack a smile at his usual nickname that he always calls me. I had just gotten back from Metro Grill after my believed encounter of two fictitious characters, John Egbert and Dave Strider from Homestuck. I could just be over reacting, but anyone could tell that the similarities between the real people and the characters were very prominent…

This lead me to believe that those two that I sat at the table beside me at Metro Grill, were two people that were born for awesomeness on the interwebs. Ian waved a hand in front of my face and I seemed to snap out of my daze.

"Oh, nothing… Just, uh, shocked by what the sunlight did to my nocturnally adjusted eyes," I answered with a blink.

Ian rolled his eyes, and plastered a look of disbelief on his face, "Sure, well then, maybe you should take a hiatus from so much computer time then. You know Mom would appreciate that."

I kicked my shoes off and sat down on the couch with a huge exhale of breath.

"Oh shut up, you don't have much room to talk Ian," I fired back, chucking a pillow at him.

He was also an internet and game junkie. So he had absolutely no room to talk when developing my daily ritual and interests were most of the time thanks to him. He easily caught it and plastered a grin on his face, looking at me from the other couch. I noticed something that was a rare occurrence in our household. The TV was off.

"Where'd Mom go?" I asked, looking at my arms with dismay as I noticed a sunburn that began to show up. Fair skin should be blasphemy.

"She was gone when I woke up. But I'm guessing she went to the library," Ian answered.

I nodded and stood up. It was time to report my findings to the internet!

"Where do you think you're going young Banana?" Ian asked in a deep 'parental' voice.

"Where do you think? I'm off to the world of the internet," I called, heading up the stairs. "Don't talk to strangers, always wear your life jacket, check the air in your tires, and pack extra socks!" Ian yelled after me.

He always was a strange one. Chuckling to myself, I opened the door to my room and plopped down in my computer chair.

Switching on the old, black desktop always brought me happiness because that meant the internet was just a couple clicks away. It booted up fairly fast and I pulled up a Google browser, typing in Facebook on the url bar. This must be shared with the world!

Ignoring a couple notifications, I composed a new note to post on my wall about the events that had occurred at Metro grill, down to the last detail (though I left out the part when I chocked to death because that's just embarrassing). When it was posted I smiled as the comments started rolling in by friends.

Clicking another tab, I typed in and checked for new updates. Almost jumping out of my chair with happiness, I notice that ten more pages were added during my time at Metro Grill.

A few minutes passed as I scanned the pages and got caught up to date with the shenanigans that were occurring during this act. Scowling on the inside, I was filled with suspense to see that it was yet again left as a cliff hanger.

Sometimes writers really did get on your nerves, which is why I was perfectly happy being an artist… Well, I guess it wasn't fair to say put down the writers…because I did have an active account and did write stories.

Speaking of , I quickly opened up a new document and started to furiously type a short one shot about what had happened in Metro Grill. It wasn't really a full length story (so thank goodness for one shots) but it still _had_ a story to tell.

Glancing at my clock, I was surprised to see that an hour had flew by, and I was done with the story. Submitting it to , I clicked back on the Facebook tab. Scrolling through the comments from friends was interesting and I was nearing the bottom.

On the last comment, as I was reading, time seemed to stop. The commenter's name read in bold letters **EctoBiologist** and the comment said this:

**Congratulations, good luck with Jade and Rose. -JE + DS **

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><p><strong>AN: XD Okay, little one shot story about Homestuck ha ha. What is really crazy though is that my friend Panda (username BambooBlade) actually was at a place called Metro Grill and ACTUALLY SAW THESE TWO GUYS THAT I DESCRIBED. She told me that they looked like John and Dave! Baffled and amused, I decided to write a short one shot about it. Part of it is true like their descriptions, seat placement at the table next to her, and the conversation about the psycho girlfriends along with getting wasted. The rest I just added for your amusement and short story purposes. It's my first one shot and so I hoped you liked it and got a laugh out of it. :) Review and let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!**


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